Amy Wax and Tucker Carlson (Screenshot/Twitter)
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I want to apologize to Tucker Carlson.
First, there may be a perception that I hate Tucker Carlson when in fact I really like him. I love how he disguises his Caucasian-smelling brand of white nationalism when he demonizes diversity. I love the arrogant way he frowns and wrinkles his nose when he portrays black women like Ketanji Brown Jackson, Joy Reid and Cori Bush as stupid, even though they are more educated than him. I like the seriousness with which he explained why blanks were not “designed” live with immigrants.
I even like to say his first and last name, as if the fact that cable’s highest-rated news program is hosted by a privileged but mediocre private school, a sockless moccasin named “Tucker” on a network of Information that doesn’t make current news isn’t a fitting enough analogy for America’s brand of white supremacy.
As far as I know he never burned a cross on anyone’s lawn or called a black person the N word. I have no evidence that he owned slaves or lynched a black person . And that’s why I love it. Without people like him on TV every night arguing against immigration, racial equality and diversity, we might begin to believe that America is not a racist country.
I thank God for Tucker Carlson.
And this other white lady named Amy Wax.
I could describe disgraced Penn law professor Amy Wax as a female version of Tucker Carlson, but she didn’t really dishonor herself when she said that black students generally aren’t as smart as white people. . If you don’t know Amy Wax, all you need to know is that she looks a bit like John Cleese, and if Tucker Carlson was slightly smarter, slightly more educated, and preferred to camouflage his racist white genocide theory under the cover of “Western values”, it would be Amy Wax. To be fair, when Wax said the disparities in wealth and employment were due to “different crime rates, different average IQs,” Tucker Carlson probably ovulated a bit.
Of course, when the sweater-vest white supremacist invited JK Rowling’s more evil twin on his show to chat about whatever they were going to talk about, it was like a dog whistle Caucasian doll.
“Anyone who says anything about groups or race or different populations that would in any way upset someone who is a minority – probably in many cases here because of affirmative action – that person must be punished,” Wax said, explaining cancel culture to an affirmative action recipient who walks, talks and has never been cancelled. “It’s all about hiding the fact that some groups are more competitive than others, that there’s this academic achievement gap that hasn’t gone away.”
And that wasn’t even the good part!
But before I get to the good part, let me explain this so-called “achievement gap” that Dorothy Zbornak’s disavowed racist sister will keep lying about.
The average nonwhite school district receives $2,266 less per student than a majority white school district, according to EdBuild. While that may seem like a small statistic, the National Center for Education Statistics, which publishes education statistics nationwide (I want to be clear in case a Fox News watcher sees this) reports that 59% of black children and 60% of Hispanic children attend schools where three out of four students are non-white. In comparison, only 6% of white children attend these schools which are—and this is the important part—statistically underfunded. The reason privileged racists like Wax and Tucker Carlson think the achievement gap proves black people are stupid is because they have never attended these schools!
After Wax explains that universities are abandoning “everything associated with white values, with European achievements [or] Western Civ,” Tucker Carlson asked why this shouldn’t be considered vandalism, to which Tethered Theresa May responds:
I think there’s just a huge amount of resentment and shame from non-Western people against Western people for the outsized accomplishments and contributions of Western people. I mean, it’s really unbearable. I was actually – you know, leaving out black Americans, who I think feel this resentment and this shame and this envy. I mean, it’s this unholy brewing of feelings.
I was talking to Glenn Loury about this bizarre fact that Asian, South Asian, and Indian doctors at Penn Med, some of whom I know people there and I know what’s going on there, are on the ramparts of the anti-racism initiative for the dump on america, america is an evil and racist place. They are immigrants.
It totally changed my perception of Tucker Carlson.
I still believe Carlson is a racist AF. But this conversation helped me understand where people like him and Cruella de Vanilla come from. They really cannot understand why people whose lives have not been substantially affected by white supremacy would want to stand up against white supremacy. Caring about their compatriots is such an abstract notion that, rather than believing 400 years of facts, data, studies and the voices of non-white people around the world, they prefer to believe that it does not exist.
Either they have led lives so privileged that they cannot even begin to conceive of the well-documented racial terrorism, intentional oppression and systemic inequality that has manifested itself in every crevice of American society, or they are as stupid as rocks. And, yes, it’s possible that Tucker and the lady who should be hired as a zombie stuntwoman for Carol de The Walking Dead are incredibly stupid, but I can’t believe they are so stupid. They have shown the ability to walk and talk, and I assume, without proof, they can read the mountains of evidence pointing to the very real effects of white supremacy.
Also, if they were as abjectly stupid as they seem, then the fact that they graduated from colleges and were hired by white people would actually prove systemic white supremacy which they say is a fever dream. collective and international. And if millions of people watched two stupid but racist people on prime time television, it would prove just how racist America is. So either they’re the most gifted and dumbest people I’ve ever seen or they’re so privileged they can’t understand the world that exists for those of us whose lives haven’t been enveloped in the indestructible deflecting shield of whiteness. Before the racist Golden Girl and Bull Connor of cable news opened their lipless mouths, I couldn’t even imagine such a thing could exist.
Either they are incredibly stupid, incredibly prejudiced, or incredible liars.
But she’s right, though. I have a lot of resentment, shame and envy. I don’t like the fact that I had no idea white people could just declare a country or culture to be “first world.” I’m ashamed I looked at Amy Wax’s face and thought she’d be like, “Tell Cersei that was me.” I’m envious of having so many Caucasian drops that I had to layer a cashmere v-neck over a blue Brooks Brothers shirt. I have never been angry or jealous or envious of the mediocrity or apathy or relentless insecurity needed to build an entire empire out of bigotry, tilt it to whiteness and then complain about people who have to move up the ladder.
If this clip isn’t nominated for a sci-fi award or honored as one of the greatest achievements in the history of intellectually bankrupt Americans, I’ll be furious. But, of course, we all know that won’t be the case.
And for that, I apologize.
Michael Harriot is a writer, cultural critic and Spades Championship player. His book, Black AF History: The Unwhitewashed Story of America, will be released in 2022.
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